Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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