just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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