there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
