they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She's the barista slut.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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