Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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