omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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