I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
