Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Randomize
