I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
