I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
