i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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