And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
