OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I smell like Dick and happiness
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize