Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
