pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
