I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
