it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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