It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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