I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
