Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize