The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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