She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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