is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
