She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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