dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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