Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
