The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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