I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize