Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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