At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
