Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize