people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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