My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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