This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
