Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize