Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
