she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
