bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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