does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
