just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
