"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
