That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You may now shotgun with the bride
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
