accomplished twins. life is a go
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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