And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
