Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
