Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
