It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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