I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
