she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
