the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
