Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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