Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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