Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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