Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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