DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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