I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
