I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
