if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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