Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
