I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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