I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
