Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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