we're blogging at a bar
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
