Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
