and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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