Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My pussy is not your playground.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
