If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we're making bets on your personal life
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
