I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
