I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
