Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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