you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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